Jokes for All Occasions by Anonymous

By Anonymous

Excerpt: ..."All you need to do vill pe youst to bray for him, as usual." Pg 186 A Scotch missionary within the a long way East suffered unwell fortune in his marriages, for 2 other halves in succession yielded to the making an attempt weather and died. The missionary had trusted the Board at domestic to pick his earlier associates, and he wrote for a 3rd. whilst due time had elapsed, he journeyed to the seaport to satisfy the steamer in which his new mate may still arrive. on the appointed hour, because the boat drew in, he stood at the dock anxiously ready. one of the few passengers to descend the gangplank, it was once effortless for him to choose the only destined for him. At sight of her, he shuddered a bit, and a groan burst from his lips. "Freckles," he muttered despairingly, "and crimson headed, and with squint [C:\Users\Microsoft\Documents\Calibre Library]

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An acquaintance came into the place to dine, and was aghast when he discovered the artist in his waiter. " he whispered. " DELAY A woman in the mountains of Tennessee was seated in the doorway of the cabin, busily eating some pig's feet. A neighbor hurried up to tell of how her husband had become engaged in a saloon brawl and had been shot to death. The widow continued munching on a pig's foot in silence while she listened to the harrowing news. " DEVIL Some wasps built their nests during the week in a Scotch clergyman's best breeches.

And the other woman retorted, quite as purringly: "Oh, everybody knows that. " *** In the days before prohibition, a bibulous person issued from a saloon in a state of melancholy intoxication, and outside the door he encountered a teetotaler friend. " The bibulous one wept sympathetically. " And he did. *** When the Kentucky colonel was in the North, some one asked him if the Kentuckians were in fact very bibulous. "No, suh," the colonel declared. " *** The Irish gentleman encountered the lady who had been ill, and made gallant inquiries.

Whereupon, said wife became flustered, and declared tartly: "I never thought of that. " DEFINITION The schoolboy, after profound thought, wrote this definition of the word "spine," at his teacher's request. "A spine is a long, limber bone. " DEGREES IN DEGRADATION Phil May, the artist, when once down on his luck in Australia, took a job as waiter in a very low-class restaurant. An acquaintance came into the place to dine, and was aghast when he discovered the artist in his waiter. " he whispered.

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