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Additional resources for Child Abuse and Neglect: Perceptions, Psychological Consequences and Coping Strategies
As the males then attuned to their own emotions, we observed that this made it more possible for the therapists to support the partners in working through impasses (author, 2015b). Capacity for self-reflection. As therapy progressed in establishing emotional safety between partners, we noticed that partners became able to reflect on their own ways of engaging that detracted from or moved toward connection. Yet, Scott maintained his defenses and avoided becoming reflective on his part in the couple’s gendered power processes.
And I know my attitude sucks. Therapist: Would you say it’s hard to hear Jazmyn right now because … Barry: I’m just miserable and depressed, and tired of all the crap. Therapist: So, you’re feeling as though things aren’t going the way that you’d like them to go? Barry: Yeah. Therapist: And when things don’t go the way you’d like … would you say that it’s maybe hard for you to connect or maybe even listen to what’s going on in your relationship with Jazmyn because you’re in a lot of pain? Barry: It’s just, you know, maybe more effort on each of our parts not to be so negative towards each other ...
Both male and female adult survivors often use self-protection when they sense unfair treatment from the other partner. Conversely, selfabnegation, a freeze response of the amygdala, is an implicit experience of distrust that is observable as a sense of internalized helplessness, mostly with males, or overly accommodating the other partner, more often used by females. The third category is a flee (from the relationship) response, referred to as marginalizing the other partner’s needs, which occurs when distrust instigates the male or female adult survivor to focus solely on his or her own needs or interests without concern for the effects of these self-oriented actions on the partner (author, 2015a; author & Kuhn, 2015).